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Love Wins from Peas and Hoppiness

November 3, 2020 Update

It’s four years later. And oh, what a four years it has been.

I wonder how many of you also feel a sort of existential dread gathering in the pit of your stomach, wondering if we can move on as a country after today. Wondering if our democracy will continue. Wondering what will come next.

Four years ago I wrote about the Civil War being the most devisive time in history. I hope in 20 years the history books haven’t replaced it with the fallout from today as winner of most devisive.

And still, I have hope. I must have hope. Because now I have a stepson who will carry us into the next generation.

And so today, on election day, this day that we exercise our Constitutional rights as American citizens, with everyone having access to a secure, safe voting location and transportation and time off work…

Today, I hope you Love someone. Love as a verb and not as a feeling.

I hope you lift someone up who is different than you.
I hope you reach out to a friend to make sure they’re doing okay.
I hope you take time to listen, not just to the voices of those around you, but to the sound of the birds and the wind as it rustles the autumn leaves.
I hope you take time to breathe.
I hope you turn off the news and close your social media app and look up at your community and choose to take part in the life around you.

Be good to one another. Be a human that moves the needle closer to the elusive goal of one united nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all people.


Original Post from November 13, 2016

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure this election season was the absolute worst. Granted, I haven’t participated in too many presidential elections in my adult life, but from what I hear and read, it seems we’ve never been more divided as a country (except maybe the Civil War? But that seems like a low bar to set).

Me with my friend Zach, my first gay friend. He changed my life and challenged what I thought I knew was right.

Me with my friend Zach, my first gay friend. He changed my life and challenged what I thought I knew was right.

At first glance, I saw two basic reactions to the election’s outcome:

  1. Utter despair/hate: OMG. I can’t believe that racist, sexist, misogynistic man won. There is so much evil and so many bad people in the world. We must riot and hate these people in order to change. Super divisive.

  2. Victory dance: TRUMP WINS!!!! He’s going to uproot the establishment and bring real change to America. He’s not afraid to say all the stuff (good or bad) that needs to be said. Pro-wall. Anti-LGBT. Anti-immigration. KKK-Endorsed. Super divisive.

Did you notice the same in your social media feed? It’s rather alarming – not just who people support, but the reaction to who people support. 

And then I saw people who I love and respect posting articles or engaging in discussions with The Other Side. And for a moment (actually many moments, I admit), I was so angry at those people who supported the other candidate. And it seemed to me that I was not the only one spiraling into despair/hate/depression/etc.

Guys, we’re better than that.

The United States of America is a really special place. We are a rare country that is truly made up of immigrants. Even if the demographic where you live isn’t very colorful, you’ll find a mix of all kinds of European countries in the heritage.

America “the Melting Pot” is different than other countries that I’ve been to. While traveling in Europe, Asia, and Central America, I found that almost everybody who lived there had been living there for generations. That’s just not how it is here; in fact, being Native American is actually a minority. 

There are three minorities in this group of friends. Can you pick them out? No, you can't. Because it doesn't matter.

There are three minorities in this group of friends. Can you pick them out? No, you can’t. Because it doesn’t matter.

Our diversity is our strength. The different economic and social views give us balance. Neither absolute socialism (ahem, communism) nor absolute capitalism is the best option. And neither utilitarianism nor humanism nor deism is absolutely correct. We need each other to balance these extreme views.

After the initial shock and reactions to the election results from either side of the table, I started to notice a Third Way emerge in my social media feed.

I saw the messages from Trump supporters, who were devastated to be called a racist or a bigot – these people voted for change, not for division.

I saw the messages from Clinton supporters, who instead of calling people names started to make an agenda of how to love other people.

And I began to think: if we’re so divided that the person that wins the electoral college doesn’t also win the popular vote, we need to do something different. Not “we the government,” but “we the people” – because (spoiler) in an active, engaged democratic republic, the people are the government.

You know what? I realized that I’m part of the problem. I only engage people in conversation if I know we agree. In the past year I’ve never once sat down and really listened in order to understand – without an agenda to try to convince the person of my own beliefs.

Several of my friends have posted or discussed tangible action plans to respond to the hate (from both sides of the fence) that is dividing America today. I challenge you to make a list of your own. Then share it. With your friends, your co-workers, your families. Post it in the comments section below, stick it to your fridge, or tweet it to the world.

There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark. You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are. You don’t have to change a thing; the world could change its heart.
— “Scars to Your Beautiful” by Alessia Carra

We may not be united in thought, in creed, in race, or in politics, but we must be united in love against hate of any kind. As a collective, let’s change this world’s heart.

With so much love,

Ann from Peas and Hoppiness


For more inspiration and love, follow me on Instagram.

1 thought on “Love Wins”

  1. This is fabulous. Love you friend! I, too, need to work on active conversations with people that think or act or view differently than me.

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